I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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