All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
