Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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