Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
