How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
