a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
