Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
