The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
