We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
