My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
