I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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