shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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