PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
