I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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