i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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