My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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