I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
