all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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