Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
