At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
