It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
