OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
