dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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