I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
