time to smoke my breakfast
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
