he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
