I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
