Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
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