a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Randomize
