Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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