just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
