Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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