I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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