I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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