Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
