what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
