ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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