Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
