we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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