Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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