so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
