I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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