I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
