I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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