Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize
