how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
