we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I need a beard to bite.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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