Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
