I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
