just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i out mim tonsoeep
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