yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
