what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You are a genius and a whore.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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