Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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