stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
